im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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