Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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