the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize