That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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