then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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