I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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