where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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