I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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