I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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