I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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