And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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