About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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