p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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