Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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