my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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