Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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