I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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