I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I love you.
Bad choice
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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