He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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