Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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