what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize