There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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