There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize