So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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