my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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