Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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