Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize