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mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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