so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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