All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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