Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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