he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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