now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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