i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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