Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize