I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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