What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sarcasm needs its own font
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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