Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize