Why are handjobs necessary in class?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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