Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize