It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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