I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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