Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize