There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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