i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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