Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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