pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize