Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize