Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize