I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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